12 Stages of Drunkenness!

0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an Army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one by one.

5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Device fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Arsenal's problems.

6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realise that everyone loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing figure.

7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatella.

8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.

9 - Headache kicks in. Beer tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say,"That's much better." Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minute before seeing out of order sign..

10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four Barmen. Talked down by barmaid, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.

11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.

12 - Put in cab by someone. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realized you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.

YOLO!!!

Alone Wedding!

Veils, Vows and Vintage cars but NO GROOM!

This might sound scary, but have a look online, it will show this thing real exist and it is growing with many young women are choosing to do the same. To them it’s a way to celebrate themselves and hit back at the pressure on single girls to get married.

“Traditionalists may call it bonkers” but it’s a symbolic ceremony that the “bride” uses to show they don’t need a man to validate them. Rather than settle for Mr OK, they are choosing to do it alone and they want to celebrate their lives and the person they are. For some women it’s kind of therapy. On a brighter side, “me marriage” isn’t legal and that doesn’t prohibit the women from marrying again, is kind of a ritual to keep their mind at peace with themselves.

Put a ring ON IT!

While it might sound a bit out-there, the idea of marrying oneself had been gaining popularity, with women around the world lining up to slip a ring on their own finger. The little chapel in Vegas has reported a growing number of women doing it. And women in the UK are jumping on the trend.  Still In doubt? Google “I’m marrying myself” and you will find posts of women across the country making plans for their own solo service, with photos of wedding dresses and venue plans, and discussions of the vows they’ll make.

According to a relationship psychologist, the trend is rooted in how we feel about marriage and ourselves. “Over the past 30 years there’s been a shift towards thinking that we only get one life and have the most of it. With the popularity of self-help books and therapy, we’re much more focused on understanding ourselves and making ourselves happy”

“Marriage, or at least life partnership, is a goal for women, and we crave the security and validation of a partner dedicating themselves to us forever or so we think.  But with many marriages ending in divorce, its more like we’re just promising to be together for as long we can. So while marrying yourself might seem like an extreme thing to do, it’s actually practical – it’s women making a promise they can keep. And as long as it’s not just a cry for help, it can be a really positive thing or what do you think? 

Zee...