12 Stages of Drunkenness!

0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an Army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one by one.

5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Device fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Arsenal's problems.

6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realise that everyone loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing figure.

7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatella.

8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.

9 - Headache kicks in. Beer tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say,"That's much better." Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minute before seeing out of order sign..

10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four Barmen. Talked down by barmaid, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.

11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.

12 - Put in cab by someone. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realized you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.

YOLO!!!

Alone Wedding!

Veils, Vows and Vintage cars but NO GROOM!

This might sound scary, but have a look online, it will show this thing real exist and it is growing with many young women are choosing to do the same. To them it’s a way to celebrate themselves and hit back at the pressure on single girls to get married.

“Traditionalists may call it bonkers” but it’s a symbolic ceremony that the “bride” uses to show they don’t need a man to validate them. Rather than settle for Mr OK, they are choosing to do it alone and they want to celebrate their lives and the person they are. For some women it’s kind of therapy. On a brighter side, “me marriage” isn’t legal and that doesn’t prohibit the women from marrying again, is kind of a ritual to keep their mind at peace with themselves.

Put a ring ON IT!

While it might sound a bit out-there, the idea of marrying oneself had been gaining popularity, with women around the world lining up to slip a ring on their own finger. The little chapel in Vegas has reported a growing number of women doing it. And women in the UK are jumping on the trend.  Still In doubt? Google “I’m marrying myself” and you will find posts of women across the country making plans for their own solo service, with photos of wedding dresses and venue plans, and discussions of the vows they’ll make.

According to a relationship psychologist, the trend is rooted in how we feel about marriage and ourselves. “Over the past 30 years there’s been a shift towards thinking that we only get one life and have the most of it. With the popularity of self-help books and therapy, we’re much more focused on understanding ourselves and making ourselves happy”

“Marriage, or at least life partnership, is a goal for women, and we crave the security and validation of a partner dedicating themselves to us forever or so we think.  But with many marriages ending in divorce, its more like we’re just promising to be together for as long we can. So while marrying yourself might seem like an extreme thing to do, it’s actually practical – it’s women making a promise they can keep. And as long as it’s not just a cry for help, it can be a really positive thing or what do you think? 

Zee...

ISELOGBE - The Twelve Days of Christmas!

The Twelve Days of Christmas my favorite and still the best Christmas carol, The lyrics of The Twelve Days of Christmas may have no meaning at all. Its meaning, if it has any, has yet to be satisfactorily explained.

According to The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes, "Suggestions have been made that the gifts have significance, as representing the food or sport for each month of the year. Importance certainly has long been attached to the Twelve Days, when, for instance, the weather on each day was carefully observed to see what it would be in the corresponding month of the coming year. Nevertheless, whatever the ultimate origin of the chant, it seems probable that the lines that survive today both in England and France are merely an irreligious travesty."

A bit of modern folklore claims that the song's lyrics were written as a "catechism song" to help young Catholics learn their faith, at a time when practising Catholicism was criminalized in England (1558 until 1829). There is no primary evidence supporting this claim, and no evidence that the claim is historical, or "anything but a fanciful modern day speculation." The theory is of relatively recent origin. It was first suggested by Canadian English teacher and hymnologist Hugh D. McKellar in a short article, "How to Decode the Twelve Days of Christmas," published in 1979. In a later article published in the music journal The Hymn, he reiterates that the associations are his.The idea was further popularized by a Catholic priest, Fr. Hal Stockert, in an article he wrote in 1982 and posted online in 1995.

Variations in lyrics provide further evidence against the "catechism song" origin. For example, the four Gospels are often described as the "four calling birds," when in fact the phrase "calling birds" is a modern (probably 20th century) phonetic misunderstanding of "colly birds" (blackbirds).

Regardless of the origin of this idea, a number of Christians give the following meanings to the gifts:

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" as a Catechism Song

Gift	Interpretation
A partridge in a pear tree	Jesus
Two turtle doves	The Old and New Testaments
Three French hens	The three kings bearing gifts
Four calling birds	The four Gospels
Five gold rings	The Torah or Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament
Six geese a-laying	The Six days of creations
Seven swans a-swimming	Seven gifts of the Holy Spirit
Eight maids a-milking	The eight Beatitudes
Nine ladies dancing	Nine fruits of the Holy Spirit
Ten lords a-leaping	The Ten Commandments
Eleven pipers piping	The eleven faithful Apostles
Twelve drummers drumming	The twelve points of the  Apostles's Creed

And again, whats Christmas without Blackberry users having their own version of the 12th day of Christmas? so here is Something to smile about, enjoy!
On the 12th day of Christmas my Blackberry  gave to me:
12 dudes I'm blocking,>:O (Angry face)
11 friends just watching,:O  ((surprise face)
10 funny D.P's (Display Picture), =D (Laughing)
9 busted barbies,:/  (Huh?)
8 friends complaining,>:/  (Talk to the hand)
7 stalkers stalking, :> (Raised eyebrows)
6 contacts pending,:p (Tongue out)
Fiiiiiiiiiiivvvee  RUBBISH Groups;3-| (Not Interested)
4 ugly chics, X_X (Can't watch)
3 borin guys, (=| (Yawn)
2 friend request,:>  ( Raised eyebrows)
and a creep who won't stop PINGing meee!!!!!!:p :p :p ( Tongue out 3x)

Wishing Y'all a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year...<3 (Heart)

Expectations!

"The people that suffers the most are the ones that don’t know what they want”...

It seems we have no control whatsoever over our heart, conditions can change without warning, romance can make the heart pound, just like a panic pound and panic can make it stop cold in our chest; is no wonder Doctors tried hard so much times to keep the heart stable; to keep it slow, steady, regular or to stop the heart from pounding out of our chest, from the dread of something terrible or the anticipation of something else entirely...

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by, no matter how much we hurt them…

No one believes their life is going to turn out just kind of ok. We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Still, the expected is just the beginning; the unexpected is what changes our lives…

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories, admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know, and maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”...so be thankful...

There comes a point in your life, when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, you’re old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up? In some ways we grow up; we have families... we get married, divorced... but for the most part we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling... forever wondering, forever young...

"So if you know what you want, how to get it will surely emerge, so be hopeful, because the unexpected is what changes our lives forever...."

AFFIRMATIONS!

What are affirmations?

Affirmations are short positive statements that are repeated daily to create an imprint into your subconscious mind. This mechanism creates a shift in your subconscious mind to welcome positive thinking about yourself. As you read each statement take a few seconds and reflect on each of the statement.

I love and believe in myself
I am grateful for what I have
I accept myself totally and unconditionally
I am 100% responsible for my life
I focus on what I appreciate in others
I can!
I am loving and caring
I see beauty in everything
I am the only person in charge of my happiness and bliss
I am patient
The more I give love, the more I receive love
I live in a universe of abundance
I am detached from the outcome
I persist in the directions of my dreams
I compare my progress only to myself
I take things one day at a time
I can change my life by changing my thoughts
I live my life the way I want to
I forgive and move on
I become what I think about, so I only think of good thoughts
I only have thoughts that empower me
I am decisive
My mind is focused on what I desire
Today I choose to be the best I can be at everything I do, so help me God!
(c) http://lovetexts.tumblr.com/ http://dailyquotes2u.tumblr.com/
....Zee

URBAN DICTIONARY YOU MUST KNOW

URBAN DICTIONARY YOU MUST KNOW

AFAIK =» As Far As I Know
AFK =» Away From Keyboard
ASAP =» As Soon As Possible

AYCOS =» Are You Crazy Or Something
BAS =» Big A$ Smile
BBL =» Be Back Later
BBN =» Bye Bye Now
BBS =» Be Back Soon
BEG =» Big Evil Grin
BF =» Boyfriend
BIBO =» Beer In, Beer Out
BRB =» Be Right Back
BTW =» By The Way
BWL =» Bursting With Laughter
C&G =» Chuckle and Grin
CICO =» Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID =» Crying In Disgrace
CNP =» Continued (in my) Next Post
CP =» Chat Post(a chat message)
CRBT =» Crying Real Big Tears
CSG =» Chuckle Snicker Grin
CYA =» See You (Seeya)
CYAL8R =» See You Later (Seeyalata)
DLTBBB =» Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite
EG =» Evil Grin
EMSG =» Email Message
FC =» Fingers Crossed
FTBOMH =» From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI =» For Your Information
FWIW =» For What It’s Worth
GAL =» Get A Life
GF =» Girlfriend
GFN =» Gone For Now
GMBA =» Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA =» Great Minds Think Alike
GTSY =» Glad To See You
H&K =» Hug and Kiss
HABU =» Have A Better ‘Un
HAGN =» Have A Good Night
HAGU =» Have A Good ‘Un
HHIS =» Hanging Head in Shame
HUB =» Head Up Butt
IAE =» In Any Event
IC =» I See
IDC =» I Don’t Care

IDK =» I Don’t Know
IGP =» I Gotta Pee
IMNSHO =» In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO =» In My Opinion
IMCO =» In My Considered Opinion
IMHO =» In My Humble Opinion
IOW =» In Other Words
IRL =» In Real Life
IWALU =» I Will Always Love You
JMO =» Just My Opinion
JTLYK =» Just To Let You Know
KIT =» Keep In Touch
KMT =» Kiss My Teeth
KOC =» Kiss On Cheek
KOL =» Kiss On Lips
L8R =» Later
L8R G8R =» Later ‘Gater
LHM =» Lord Help Me
LHO =» Laughing Head Off
LHU =» Lord Help Us
LMAO =» Laughing My A$ Off
LMSO =» Laughing My Socks Off
LOL =» Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB =» Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH =» Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARDML =» Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS =» Long Time No See
LTS =» Laughing To Self
LUWAMH =» Love You With All My Heart
LY =» Love Ya
MTF =» More To Follow
NRN =» No Reply Necessary
NADT =» Not A Darn Thing
OIC =» Oh, I See
OL =» Old Lady (significant other)
OM =» Old Man (significant other)
OTOH =» On The Other Hand
OTTOMH =» Off The Top of My Head
OTT =>> Over The Top
PDS =» Please Don’t Shoot
PITA =» Pain In The A$
PM =» Private Message
PMFJI =» Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMP =» Peed My Pants
POAHF =» Put On A Happy Face
QSL =» Reply
QSO =» Conversation
QT =» Cutie
ROFL =» Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP =» ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLMAO =» ROFL My A$ Off
ROFLMAOAY =» ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME =» ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes
ROFLUTSROFL =» Unable to Speak
RTFM =» Read The F****** Manual!
SETE =» Smiling Ear To Ear
SHID =» Slaps Head In Disgust
SMH =» Shaking My Head
SNERT =» Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO =» Significant Other
SOT =» Short Of Time
SOTMG =» Short Of Time Must Go
SWAK =» Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS =» Scientific Wild A$ Guess
SWL =» Screaming with Laughter
SYS =» See You Soon
TA =» Thanks Again
TGIF =» Thank God It’s Friday
TCOY =» Take Care Of Yourself
TILII =» Tell It Like It Is
TNT =» Till Next Time
TOY =» Thinking Of You
TTFN =» Ta Ta For Now
TTYL =» Talk To You Later
WAS =» Wild A$ Guess
WB =» Welcome Back
WTH =» What/Who The Heck (or sub an ‘F’ for the ‘H’)

XOX =>> Hugs and Kisses
YBS =» You’ll Be Sorry
YG =» Young Gentleman
YL =» Young Lady
YM =» Young Man
YOLO =>> You Only Live Once

INVEST IN LOVE!!!

As they say: " the bigger your investment, the bigger your returns", but you have to be willing to take a chance, you might have to understand you might lose it all, but you can still take that chance if you invest wisely, because the payoff might just surprise you…

Sometimes the answer we get, just confirms our worst fears. But sometimes it can shed new light on the problem. You see it in a whole new way. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, you finally find what you were after, The Truth, but the truth isn’t where it ends. That’s just where you begin again. With a whole new set of questions...

Peace is not a permanent state. It exists in moments, fleeing, gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time, in the stranger’s act of kindness, a task which requires a complete focus, or simply a comfort of an old routine. Every day we all experience these moments in peace, the trick is to know when they are happening so that we can embrace them, live in them. And finally let them go...

Eventually whatever it is, that is making us stops feeling good and starts hurting. Still they say don’t kick the habit till you hit rock bottom, the thing is how do you know when you are there because no matter how bad a thing is hurting us, it hurts even more to let it go...

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into DENIAL because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become ANGRY with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we BARGAIN. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have; we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into DEPRESSION, despair, until finally we have to ACCEPT that we've done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance...

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much, sometimes it has to hurt so badly. The thing we gotta try to remember is that, it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, possibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much. Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is trying for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is tried to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away...

Everybody wants a piece of you. We take one little oath and suddenly we are drowning in obligations. So, we do what any sane person will do. We run like hell from our promises hoping they will be forgotten. But sooner or later they always catch up and sometimes you find the obligation you dread the most, isn’t worth running from it at all...

We're all susceptible to it, the dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end, because all the worrying and the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying, because the only cure for paranoia is to be here, just as you are...

There is always a way. When things look like there's no way, there is a way. To do the impossible, to survive the un-survivable, there is always a way…so invest in love because the payoff might just blows your mind away…

( Archives - Old write up, extracted from my Facebook notes)

Zee...x